Oftentimes it is hard to understand what in this world is real and what is just an attempt to run away from death and emptiness.
I have no answer but nature reassures me that there is  some beauty and some meaning. Breathtaking as it is, it was not created to distract our attention. Getting to know myself: hiking in lieu of museums; so much peace.
A good thing about growing up is that -- genuine surprise -- some changes are positive.