teaching English...

... is about learning different people's wonderful stories. They can inspire you.

A sto se tice ove firme -- sve je u redu (wszystko v porzadku): mislim da nece biti bas tesko napustit ovi posao. Manje-vise ok.
Jutro. Sef dolazi u sobu i prica sa devojkom, mojom kolegicom, na nemackom.
E-posta. Neverovatno duhovito pismo Dase o "feminine squad" gde naziva kolegice "damsels", prica nesto o Princu Carming-u i kaze, da jedan momac, koji nije izdrzao ovih prvih 2 meseca, odlazio je zbog njihovog plana. Duhoviti Orel ("adminuski" i uopste njegov stil, i cini se da to je ovi redaktorski stil -- ljudi se igraju sa recima poput "vot", "ljubeznostj").
Pa hrana. Joj. Evo sta znaci -- devojka ne zna da dobro kuva. Cini se da za mene to je najvaznija prednost posla.

Hm. Al u subotu bila sam sretna jos ne ynajuci nista o poslu, bila sam odusevljena bonusima itd. Al sada -- jooj, kako je dosadno!

Wherever I go, whatever I do, I'm a novice. Dancing. Playing the flute. Working. Speaking German and Croatian. Isn't that annoying -- and how to get rid of it. To focus on one and only hobby or field?

ma šta ću

Zaposlila sam se u jednoj super firmi, baš sam bila sretna i zadovoljna, jer tokom intervjua bila sam pametna i dobro sam pričala Engleski, plaća je mnogo više nego što sam mogla da očekujem, a ljudi su dobri.

A sada ne znam. Šta ću i šta želim? Stvar je u tome da već na intervjuu pričali su o unaprećenju. Zabrinuta sam jer samo nakon godine dana ili tako nešto postat ću pravi prevoditelj, i to znači da bit će potrebno da izabram jedno ili drugo, SAD ili posao, karijeru. A karijera to nije univerzitet, ne možeš na 5 godina odlazit negde pa vratiti i raditi isti posao.

A još doktorantura RGGU i mogućnosti koji ona nudi: Erazmus i drugi prednosti međunarodne saradnje (Europa, Srbija, možda čak i Engleska). A još treba da bavim nečim, frulom, pevanjem, plesom. Srećom nemam momca, malčice je lakše kada nemaš problema bar u ljubavnom životu.

Evo, pre nedelju dana želila sam da postanem Ph.D., bar u ovom eseju za Dandi.

A želim li baviti naukom? Ma kako da ne bavim naukom! 5 godina sam ovo radila. Tek sada vidim da postoji i još neka mogućnost. Ok, ne tek sada, ali...

vreme

Kod roditelja. Smotrim sa tatom stare poštanske marke, i on stalno komentira: ovo je valjda iz vremena pre rata... ovo je iz vremena prvog svetskog rata... I tako dalje. I čudno: historija izgleda nekako drugačije, i sećam se ovih starih stvari -- sećam se njih kao ideja, jer ne pamtim skoro ništa -- stvari poput bakinog svedočanstva o bolesti, njezinih fotografija ili vaza. Nešto staro, mirno, nešto što ima ovaj čudni, stari miris.
Tako i istorija u ovom albumu sa markama nije strašna, mirna je i malčice tužna, čak i kada reč je o ratu. A malo mi se plaka kad mislem na Nemačku u vreme rata.

Ponekad ću pisati i na hrvatskom da bih malo više ga vježbala. Ako budem imala mogućnost da napišem par rečenica i na poljskom... bit će super.

Pročitala sam dosta zanimljivu knjigu Susane Zarajskaje "Jednostavan način brzo naučiti strani jezik uz pomoć glazbe" u kojoj ima puna dobrih savjeta za motivaciju i inspiraciju. Zapravo в сущности zahvaljujući ovoj knjizi i sijetila sam ove stranice i odlučila sam da ću manje-više redovito pisati nešto u ovom blogu.

Sretan put...

*   *   *

Jestem zmęczona. Chcę spać. Noć jest ciepłą. Pewnego dnia (jednog dana) będę sczęśliwą.

Ne volim gramatiku, volim ovako: prvo maalo gramatike, pa onda samo praksa i intuicija. Naprimer (na przykład) ova "ą". Videla sam nju viša putu na krajevima reči, pročitala sam o svojoj grešci na Livemocha kad nisam nju koristila, i evo me, već znam jedno pravilo (ZASADA) iz poljskog... Kad pišem ovako, prvo poljski pa hrvatski, hrvatski čini mi se dobro poznatim kao što je engleski. Čudan osjećaj.

Jedan smiješan slučaj. Nekoliko dana prije tražila sam u rječniku riječ "skarpetka". Znala sam da sam čula ovu riječ i baš sam bila zbunjena da nisam nju mogla naći u srpskom rječniku. Ali... to nije srpska riječ nego poljska! Zahvaljujući igrici za mobitelj, sada znam kako "čarape" zvuče na poljskom.

almost

I have almost finished my diploma paper.

That means that in just a couple of weeks' time I will be free.

Which means I will be able to start working. Strange, isn't it.

I am a bit tired of working as a tutor because I don't have a proper schedule, and also all too often I feel the lack of skills. Not of experience, but of some knowledge on what are the best ways to make students learn. But nevertheless when I spent an hour playing and reading books with pictures with a kid it makes me happier because it makes me feel myself a child.

What's up next...

Haven't the slightest. Ok, I have some ideas, but the dreams seem too great to come true, and studying for a doctorate in Russia has not been my dream. I have no objections to doing it though, and have a wonderful theme for my (my!) thesis in mind, but still... So tired of working till small hours, of having no proper schedule, of having to juggle work and education. Applying for HSE is not an option, although their stipend is much more generous -- all because I have some contacts here at RSUH.

My last trip to Croatia was a strange experience. The book I would read in my free time was in English, not in Croatian, and what a lovely book! Forster's The Longest Journey. I have seen a lot of flowers, and improved my knowledge about the city a bit (so that now I see what all those gardens and towers are for). I've also been to St. Michael's castle, a challenging and peaceful day... almost no people, paradize. 

Made some new friends, been to a charity concert at St. Donat.

But I finally understood how difficult the life of those people is. 

Which means that I won't be able to, say, study and work there. Cause I'm not a big fan of working in tourism.

Strange how impressions are disappearing from your mind just after a week has passed. I do remember, but I don't think about it. I no longer feel Europe-sickness. I don't think about the Zadar University or the people I met there or the sea.

There's always something new and wonderful. Each year has its lovely place: Istorichka, then FMD's, then ZIL with trees all around it.

Some years ago I would never dream of being to Europe 2-3 times a year. (And I am going to find a job and to make my trips more frequent and efficient, cause I'm tired of spending such a lot of time travelling by buses, although it's so cosy because it reminds one of school excursions. And also I become more practical, and -- little by little -- make more wise decisions when travelling and try to waste less time).

Some years ago I would never believe that I'd learn Croatian.

Uh-oh. Wanted to learn a new language and understood that my Croatian is too bad. But still, I'll try to learn some Polish. Thanks to all the inspiring articles and books (a book by Susanna Zarajskaja) about learning many languages. 

But still, I have that feeling of all those 5 years fading into the background, as if I were to start from scratch. No, not in a bad way, but as if I was once more free to choose and with a lot of energy and so on. Even RSUH seems a noble and appealing place, not that I say it isn't, but it looks as if I have never studied there when I read documents concerning postgraduate studies.